Leaving alone

So it became apparent just within the first few hours of being dropped off here at Nebraska Wesleyan that, I would have to take care of myself. Big Momma Bear and Papa Bear were not around anymore, and in fact they were some 500 miles away. The biggest problem that I faced was, well none. My first impression was that I no longer had to listen to my parents and it didn't matter what they'd say, because I don't no anyone who can see 500 miles away. I could go to sleep whenever I wished, and generally speaking I could do all the things I wanted without asking my parents permission. However, as the days drew on and on and no one was around me, to look after me I began to really miss it. The biggest battle for me, was the laundry, for the first time I had to do the laundry myself and that is diffently something that no one wants to do themselves. I can specifically recall the first time that I got a spot on my clothes and just throwing it in the wash with the bleach wasn't enough. I soon discovered that laundry after all is a little more difficult then I originally expected watching my mother do it all those youthful years of my life. And after the death of my favorite shirt, I began to wonder if I really could survive her alone, with no one to do my laundry. Later I finally figured out that 'spray n'wash' does the job, but I didn't do it right again. I sat and thought to myself, how dumb am I. I can't even do my own laundry. Then I thought I can't just do my own laundry, I can't do anything. I really started to realize just how much I really missed growing up at home, and having my mother do everything for me. All those years that I would say, I just want to leave. I no longer wish those years away, but instead I wish that I would have them back.

It's just a harmless plant?

Just after 5:00pm Wednesday night, Lincoln-Lancaster County Narcotics Task Force found 140 marijuana plants in the basement of a Lincoln home, located at 6008 Dogwood Drive. So far there have been three arrests Geoffrey Leach, John Krotz and David Campell. At this home the police found over some $8,000 cash, growing lights, and other growing materials which were all located behind a hidden/false wall.
As a reading you begin to wonder just how many people smoke marijuana, grow marijuana and so on. People all over the country try to argue that it really is just a harmless drug and that no on has ever died from weed. Many argue that the only affect is the"munchies." Others will argue that cannabis can be linked to many illnesses especially lung cancer. Other studies have some that it really is not harmful, but then the question is raised; if it is not harmful then why is it that it is illegal to grow and sell in almost all western world countries. Cannabis contains THC and when that THC is consumed into the body it goes to the nerves in the brain called the "cannabinoid" receptors. Some studies show that although it creates brain activity, it does so in a negative matter, killing brain cells; however, brains cells also will die at the same rate from smoking a cigarette. Some studies have also shown that it does no harm to the brain. And as a reader the more you read the more and more all of this information is misunderstood. The more you read it, the more there is information that shows both sides of the stories. Although we all know that marijuana by itself is not always bad, it is linked to the real fact that 43% of marijuana user move to much more deadlier drugs. And yes everyone knows you can't OD on marijuana, however; that doesn't mean you are not in danger. Marijuana is also linked to the death of thousands due to outside conflicts with others. These may be drug dealers, car accidents etc. However I believe that the overall picture whether it truly is a "safe", it is still illegal in most states, and countries. And the question is raised,
"If it really is harmless, then why is it illegal almost everywhere we go."

Sour Sensations

As I sit in my favorite class of my life, (English) I calmly sit and try to take in everything the professor is saying. I vigorously take notes and try to understand everything that is being said. When all the sudden my sweet an sour sensations start to sizzle. As my classmate next to opens up a Starbrust melon blast. I sit and all the sudden my taste buds go crazy. My mouth begins to water, my tongue begins to turn,I begin licking my lips, the sweet and sour taste of all the starburst I have ever tasted marinate in the back of my tongue. If I can concentrate hard enough I can taste every starbrust ever tasted. If I close my eyes and concentrate even harder, I can make myself think that I'm even chewing on a starbrust of any of my favorite flavors. From my favorite straberry, to the random and crazy other flavors that starbrust makes. Then I start to have my taste buds disappear as if they are not getting the satisfaction that they desire so much. Thinking about the starbrust is not good enough anymore. So I kindly ask my classmate, "can I have a starbrust." (Hoping she'll kindly say yes, because of how rare a commodity they are). And then come the answer, I so dearly hope for. "Yeah sure." As I reach over, and see that it is a famed strawberry, my mouth again begins to tingle and water. It is as if, yet again I'm tasting the starbrust without tasting it. The sensation is incredible. Then I unwrap the wrapper, as if I can't get it out soon enough. I don't want the climax to end. NO! my mouth is losing the taste again. Then, "yes!"I finally got it into my mouth. As I chew on the starbrust I begin to think about the different ways I can taste the starbrust. As if I need to find new ways to taste every different bit of the candy. I suck here, chew there, but still can't come up with a different taste than before. I know how it tastes, I can feel how it tastes without tasting it itself. I'm loving this moment in time. Then I think, will I ever get over that sour taste. when I see a starbrust and I must have it, it is as if it's a drug. I'm fine if it's no where near me, however, when I see it, and taste it, and even smell it I will need more. It's like a addiction, only thing is that it's only the sweet and sour taste of starbrust.

Natures Beauty

Anne Frank once wrote,
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As long as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.”

As I walked through Pioneer Park, I began to see the true beauty of nature. At the entrance there stands a life size bison statue, along with an elk. Neither motions at anything specific, but instead stands in the spot as if it is looking ahead. The statue at first seems to be just like any other, but it is only when one walks closely up to the life like statue and looks at the complete detail that the statue was made in, you begin to appreciate the intricacy of the artist. If one has a sense of imagination you could really sit and wonder how many of these beautiful, magnificent creatures grazed the American plains just not too long ago. As I continue on my journey of the 1,100 acre park I walked by streams, forests, wetlands and see animals at their true beauty. I walked through the west entrance where I entered, and on the trail I started to notice all the beautiful and intricate details of nature. There is a stream where I walked in, and the trail and stream weave in and out with each other as if they are chasing on another. If you stop for a second and wait for it to be quiet form the bikers riding along and hikers you can truly sit and listen to the sound of the stream moving along. It’s an indescribable sound; water that is, you cannot really describe the sounds it makes when it weaves around rocks, when it comes crashing down, when it moves in total serenity. At one point in the stream I walked up to it, looked down and saw my reflection in a part of the calm, clear water.


I continue my journey through the forest. I come to other small tributaries, ponds, trees of all sorts. Birds of every color flying and singing all with their own beautiful tune fly around me with no fear, no anxiety and no distrust in this human who walks below them. As I walked on what seems to be endlessly I come up a building Chet Ager Building, all around there is amazing beauty. I walked up to the beautiful garden with beautiful flowers that transcend all over the park. A fountain stands close to the center and like all fountains it seems is that in the center there is a statue of a woman who is standing in what seems to be, utter silence. Obviously, see is because she is a statue, but with the simple expression she gives off, it is as if everything around her is also still, stuck in time so-ta speak. As it was beginning to be late, I started to see people scurry out of the building that I had not yet ventured within. It was disappointing to hear that it was closing for the day, so I began my long walk back. And it started to occur to me, how many people truly enjoy nature. When was the last time that someone simply sat quietly in a park or some other sanctuary and just let go of all thoughts, worries and cares. The problem with this idea is that you can no. In today’s society no one, it seems cares about nature. No one cares about the silence and comfort that only nature can bring. This world today it seems, is so caught up with technology, and industrialization that no one sits and truly enjoys nature’ bene. Its beauty, its healing power, the silence, and the comforts it brings. Less and less people flock to Pioneer’s Park each and every year, said Brady Clark (Park Ranger). It truly is a message that it seems, no one cares about nature for what it really is. Everyone in the world today has been raised with the ideal that nature isn’t important, that nature cannot truly do anything and before my last two visits her to Pioneer Park, I realized that I was thinking what others also seemed to be. The first time I went to Pioneers Park I walked around the enormous, gigantic sanctuary and sat and observed all the details that I could; all the different sites and sounds, everything that I could take in. However, I wasn’t “focused” I was only observing all the details I could, taking notes endlessly, but then it occurred to me, I wasn’t doing something and that was, appreciating all of it, really taking in all the beauty. I decided that the only thing to do was to go back for another visit.


Upon my return, instead of walking endlessly through the parkand its entire splendor, I sat in a chair about a half a mile into where the trail begins on the west entrance. As I sat in this chair, I feel asleep. I woke up not to the sounds of cars, not to the sound of the water running down the hall, or to people talking, or a loud rut-cause. I woke up to nothing. To utter silence, and there I sat longer listening to the wind blow, to the grass swaying in the distance, to the beautiful birds flying, the little squirrels that scurry around collecting food for the winter to come. There was no one around me, just as I remember in my adolescent years growing up in Colorado going with my families
To the mountains on our famous “Sunday trips.” And on these Sunday trips, my father would go off and paint, my mother start cooking food, and me and my brother would go a far and just sit in silence somewhere that was “comforting” to us. But it has been long since my “Sunday” trips to the mountains. It has been long since I have heard true “silence”. So I long cannot truly remember the feeling of it. But here I sat at Pioneer Park, watching the sunset in the beautiful most pleasant vi-bra of colors that I have seen in quiet some time. Orange, Red, Yellow millions of colors all together all so bright and all complementing each other with such beauty, the words are almost indescribable, it is as if somewhere in the distance there is fire, that is so beautiful. What beauty one feels.
I have read on several occasions about some Muslims, and Buddha’s primarily who will go somewhere silent and “mediate.” The magazine article described it as if the people let go of all thoughts, frustrations, worries, and all and any emotions. This is, easier said than done. The first time I tried, I fell asleep, but when I woke up and sat and pondered what tremendous power, it must give people who practice this. How much wiser they all must be from me. What are the different emotions that they all feel from me? And my final thought was, how much more peace of mind they also probably have from me. As fate would have it, I had a life changing experience talking to Anthony Ditullio, a deacon at a Catholic church (here in Lincoln). We sort of stumbled upon each other, and as I woke up it wasn’t more than a few minutes before he came around the trail. He came and the elderly man that stumbles along with his cane said to me in his higher pitched voice,
“You look like you’re in deep thought.”
I looked up and stated that I was wondering about nature, and how sitting in silence one can truly appreciate it, and be intoned with all it’s beauty. Before I knew it, he sat down next to me and we began to discuss nature and the true healing power of it. He talked about nature as being only a catalyst for “mediation”. I than obviously asked if he practice this,
“Only to become more in tune with God. It gives you a spiritual healing, that nothing else can accomplish. It is putting away all distractions and letting go of all worries, cares, emotions and thoughts.”

I still didn’t quiet grasp all the thought of everything that I have seen and observed. I sat in silence in my dorm room and tried this meditation; however, I failed miserably. There were just too many thoughts and it especially didn’t help that it was in my dorm room. I realized something greater in that instance than before, I realized that I felt as if I had no worries only when I was in Pioneer Park. When I was with nature and not my I-pod, it has occurred to me that only nature can make one feel at home, make one feel secure, and safe. Only nature takes you beyond you’re worries, the only problem is that note everybody visits nature anymore.

Downtown

This video makes you think about Lincoln Nebraska, but thats obvious. What it also does is that it makes you think about downtowns all across the nation. Coming from Denver, Lincoln by no means is big. It seems to me that it is a fraction the size of Denver, however; yet there is still so much to do. What to do Downtown when you are in Lincoln, compared to the other cities across the nation, what different sites can there be to visit, what different clubs are there to go to, what different parks are there is "get lost", Compared to other cities what are the different cultures. The history is different in every city in America large or small. This video gives the watcher a sense of wanting to explore not just hometown Lincoln, but all other cities across the nation. Everywhere there are different sites, different people. This video is also interesting because it gives the watcher a "want" to know the lives of the people downtown. What do people do downtown during the day in Lincoln compared to someone else in Denver, of New York, or even a metropolis such as Mexico City. People always want to know what is going on with their next door neighbor, but also they want to know how others feel, what others think, what others do. This video will make anyone want to think about the life of someone in a smaller city such as Lincoln, compared to someone is a giant city such as Los Angeles or Mexico City. How is life for that person in any city compared to the life's of others. Who's happy who's sad, what is there to do in the city, what are the sites and smells, and how does the city make you feel, happy, sad, gloomy, bored, tired. No city is alike, everything is different. Go and explore, see what you're city has to offer. How does it make you feel?

Battle in Memorial

On Saturday September 15, at 7:00pm one of the best two teams in the nation faced off in Memorial Stadium. I have never been to a Nebraska game before and I figured that this should be the game to do it. From the outside when I was driving up to the stadium I knew it was big, but only when I walked in did I think to myself, "WOW." This stadium alone of its sheer size is impressive, but only what amazed me more are the fans. I've heard all over the nation that the Cornhusker fans are one of the best, not only because of their great sportsmanship, but also because they have to have the greatest fan support I have ever heard of. In Michigan you hear that the head coach got things throw at him, and the fans had no support for him. And even after the almost hopeful defeat of the Cornhuskers the stadium was still full of fans and support until the final whistle. I walked around the stadium for a little bit and when I saw two USC fans, the Nebraska fans simply said, "good game." Not like a few Colorado Buffs games I have been to in which, the fans will throw things at other fans, fights will break out, fans will yell in disgust, and it is not the players who are being humiliated, but only the fans themselves with their total immature acts. I'm not a Huskers fans by any means, but I was very impressed with the football, the structure, and more than anything I was impressed with the fans. The fans were in fact the greatest I have ever seen, and the constant fan support that the football team gets is, well unbelievable. The game was a great game, and I was sad to see it end even when Nebraska started to come back. I was also amazed when I heard that when Memorial stadium is full, that alone is the third most populated place in Nebraska. It is an absolutely amazing structure and I cannot wait to return to it. The fans are great, the football is great, but the stadium is utterly breathtaking.

Lost in the Museum

As I walked through The Art Institute of Chicago the only thing that went through my mind is the thought that I was trying to put it off, and didn't really want to go. I just want to get through this and continue my day, I remember saying to myself as I was getting a ride to and fro. And from the first exhibit the last I spent the entire day, losing myself in the museum. Going to seeing paintings of Van Gogh to Monet, to seeing beautiful sculptures. I entirely lost myself looking at all the beautiful art in the museum. And as I wondered through the art museum I thought so many different things to myself. Things as the technique used in the painting to the thoughts the painter was feeling when he or she painted the particular piece of art. I was so intrigued by the beauty of all the art in the world. I have never seen such beauty. My next emotion is why was I avoiding this. Why have I not seen more of these pieces more frequently in my life. Why have I not been brought to more art museums in Denver or other cities that I have visited or stayed at. This museum had so much beauty. Although I can admit that some of the pieces were in my taste terrible, nothing but splashes of paint on a canvas. What Jackson Pollock painted and to him being a beautiful piece of art work, but to me being a piece that even I could maybe create. This thought brought me to another serious thought and that was, what is beautiful to others? What are the things that others find beautiful, but I do not. There are so many different pieces of art in this world, and so many different tastes, but in the end it is all so beautiful, to look at the thoughts and emotions of an artist expressed on a canvas. If only I could paint such beautiful pieces, that will last over many centuries.